For gays and bisexuals, gay dating is intimidating, scary, and sometimes deadly.
In my experience, most gay men are only looking for a quick hookup before moving on to the next tightest hole. Or, they play a symphony on your heartstrings without consideration for your feelings or well-being.
So, much like sex, gay dating is a massive pain in the ass at first. However, with time (and lots of practice), this becomes easier and less difficult.
With that said, I’ve decided to write about how you can stay safe on your quest for love. Keep in mind; these are excellent tips to avoid heartbreak and bashing in the digital era of love.
Tips for Gay Dating and Staying Safe Online
- Date people different from you
So, everyone knows that gay people are notoriously superficial. Who hasn’t received hate on Grindr for being too fem, fat, or for not being white? So, if you’re white and reading this, I’m sorry, but some of you can be pretty shady.
I know it is not all of you, but those who aren’t are less inclined to kick up a fuss than those who are. Newsflash, my fellow gays, you’re not alone in this struggle!
My first tip is to think outside of the box like the good children we all want to be. Be open to different races, political ideologies and challenge the doctrines of conventional attractiveness. It will also increase your horizons and make it easier to find a long-term relationship.
2. Choose suitable dating apps
App stores in today’s world have become riddled with, dare I say it, crap, for choices when choosing a gay dating app to find potential matches.
Grindr is excellent for those interested in hookup culture. However, you can find the occasional sweetheart if you follow my first piece of advice. Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and eharmony are going to be your best bets for finding a long-lasting relationship.
With that said, you should not limit yourself to the commonwealth prescriptive contexts of choosing a gay dating app based on the uses of most people. If you take this into account, your search for lasting love will be quicker and easier.
3. Don’t meet without a virtual greet!
This sounded ludicrous to me when I first heard this. However, after a short video chat before meeting an uber idiot, I can promise you that it will make your meeting safer and weed out the chance of meeting someone who doesn’t give you a good vibe.
In turn, you will evade frustrating and awkward circumstances in which you sip a coffee while pretending to give a hell about the babble produced from a less than suitable partner.
As I always say, it’s better to try the milk before buying the cow. Tasting the sweetest milk can make purchasing the cow a more positive and exciting experience. So, drink up, buttercup!
4. Don’t plan far in advance
We’ve all done it, and canceling can make your first meeting a disaster and leave your date questioning your commitment. Be honest with your expectations and availability. If you have no intention of meeting someone, then don’t arrange a meeting with them.
Nobody likes gaslighting, and as we all know, had stinks. So don’t be a stinky fart in the mix of rose bushes meant to pick as potential mates. It will devalue your reputation and make you seem like a zirconium stone amongst a trove of brilliantly gleaming diamonds.
5. Don’t focus on a beautiful face
It’s no secret that we love a hot guy with a six-pack, perfect teeth, and beautiful eyes, but what point is there in dating someone boring.
At some point, this will make you want to blow your brains out, or at least become an alcoholic, in an attempt to deal with the lackluster stimulation provided in conversational circumstances.
Also, it is essential to note that beauty is in the beholder’s eye, and attractiveness will increase over time if you foster your relationship with memorable experiences.
6. Good sex doesn’t constitute a good relationship
Sex is fantastic. At the end of the day, though, well, it’s still just a shag. Sure, everyone wants to enjoy sex with their partner, and at the beginning of a relationship, this might seem like the most important. However, let’s focus on the previous point in this blog: to think about the long term and your relationship goals.
Your relationship will have a shelf life of a year maximum if you are only in it for the hot lay. Yeah, it’s something that has been put on a pedestal by the gay community, but look at the number of sad, ostracized, and superficial gays that we all know in some capacity.
7. Aim low and go high
I cannot think of anything better than going to a restaurant with low expectations and eating a meal that leaves my tastebuds yearning for more.
I recommend the same for dating. Give it your all while keeping your expectations low, and you will surely leave the opportunity for your date to impress you at hand and easily accessible.
8. Talk about what matters to you on the first date
This is a no-brainer. When your date starts asking what your sister does for work, you know you are in the friend zone, or worse, you’ll be ghosted when you take off and never hear from him again.
Making yourself vulnerable is frightening but, just like anything in life, it will pay you with leaps and bounds of joy or at the least keep you from wondering why you aren’t receiving his messages a few days later.
As a teacher and public speaker, I always think, “how can I make this time memorable for my audience?” I held true to this in my dating experiences and found a husband who can be annoying but doesn’t bore me with uninteresting topics that have no relevance to my life.
9. Discuss values, not interests
Now, it’s important to explain myself here. It’s crucial to find someone who is engaging and likes the things you enjoy, but you also have comrades who can provide this entertainment.
People who say you need to have similar interests as your romantic partner are just wrong. Your partner can have different pastimes and enjoy different activities as long as your values and goals are shared.
This is not negotiable in my book, and I recommend embracing this as part of your dating routine if you want success in finding a life partner.
10. Throw in the towel as needed
Dating is not a marathon. You will not reach your goal faster by making dating feel like a 40-hour workweek. No lie, date fatigue is absolute, and unlike dieting, it’s not something you want to push through.
Don’t be afraid to take a rest to build up stamina before jumping back into the deep, deep pool of fish that could be potential partners.
Once you’re ready, start looking again but always take time to care for yourself first, as anyone can see when you are not caring for yourself. You can see more tips about the gay lifestyle in our other posts.
Wafting Away the Stench
I hope these tips can help you stay safe on your dating odyssey. Surely they can help your dating experience stink less than needed.
As always, have a gay day!